"Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars.
Seeing is deceiving, Dreaming is believing.
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing.
Everybody's bruising.
Just be true to who you are."
--Jessie J "Who You Are"
Dear Diary,
I've broken the silence and told you about some of my illnesses. Since then, I've been thinking a lot about who I am as a person. When I became sick, I learned a lot about life. I learned a lot about who I am. I learned about who I'm not. Mostly, I learned that it is very important to be true to yourself because it doesn't pay to be anything but.
I think about my past a lot. I think about all those times I've done things to "fit" in. I think of all those times I've tried to hide who I was because I wanted the boy, the popularity, and the friends. And then I think, what did those things get me? Why was it so important to be like everyone else? Why was it so important not to be myself?
I learned that these things aren't important because they aren't me.
I don't want to be someone else.
I'm not preppy. I'm not a jock. I'm not emo. I'm not a punk.
I'm just me, diary.
I'm the kind of girl who hates getting her picture taken, but likes to look at pictures. I'm the kind of girl who isn't embarrassed to tell her friends and family they love them. I'm the kind of girl that is afraid of boats and will freak out on elevators. I'm the kind of girl that will wear yoga pants and a t-shirt, but will also take two hours to dress up and get ready if I feel like it. I'm the kind of girl that likes playing video games, especially ones that involve zombie killing. I'm the kind of girl that watches too much television and movies, but also reads constantly. I'm the kind of girl that wears her hair in a pony, but also the kind of girl that will spend an hour trying out other hair styles. I'm the kind of girl that is so opinionated that I will argue endlessly about certain things, but also the kind of girl that is learning tact. I'm the kind of girl that has many insecurities, but also believes that everybody is pretty in their own way. I'm the kind of girl that isn't always nice, but really tries to be.
I'm the kind of girl who has a million ideas about how to change the world. The kind of girl that worries about the kid down the hall in the hospital that is having a hard time. The kind of girl that will lecture you about being mean or making fun of someone. The kind of girl that still has faith in people, in the world, despite all the horror stories on the news. The kind of girl that people think is naive for trying to see the good in people. The kind of girl that will fight for my life and the people in it.
Mostly, I'm the kind of girl that isn't going to be defined by the things I do or diseases I have, but rather the kind of person I am.
You see, I am not perfect. I'm not even close, and that's okay.
I don't want to be perfect.
I don't want to be anybody else.
I'm starting to realize that it's perfectly fine to be myself because, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what other people think of me.
I'm not living for them and I'm not okay with being anything but myself.
I'm just me, diary.
Love Forever & Always,
Me
Seeing is deceiving, Dreaming is believing.
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing.
Everybody's bruising.
Just be true to who you are."
--Jessie J "Who You Are"
Dear Diary,
I've broken the silence and told you about some of my illnesses. Since then, I've been thinking a lot about who I am as a person. When I became sick, I learned a lot about life. I learned a lot about who I am. I learned about who I'm not. Mostly, I learned that it is very important to be true to yourself because it doesn't pay to be anything but.
I think about my past a lot. I think about all those times I've done things to "fit" in. I think of all those times I've tried to hide who I was because I wanted the boy, the popularity, and the friends. And then I think, what did those things get me? Why was it so important to be like everyone else? Why was it so important not to be myself?
I learned that these things aren't important because they aren't me.
I don't want to be someone else.
I'm not preppy. I'm not a jock. I'm not emo. I'm not a punk.
I'm just me, diary.
I'm the kind of girl who hates getting her picture taken, but likes to look at pictures. I'm the kind of girl who isn't embarrassed to tell her friends and family they love them. I'm the kind of girl that is afraid of boats and will freak out on elevators. I'm the kind of girl that will wear yoga pants and a t-shirt, but will also take two hours to dress up and get ready if I feel like it. I'm the kind of girl that likes playing video games, especially ones that involve zombie killing. I'm the kind of girl that watches too much television and movies, but also reads constantly. I'm the kind of girl that wears her hair in a pony, but also the kind of girl that will spend an hour trying out other hair styles. I'm the kind of girl that is so opinionated that I will argue endlessly about certain things, but also the kind of girl that is learning tact. I'm the kind of girl that has many insecurities, but also believes that everybody is pretty in their own way. I'm the kind of girl that isn't always nice, but really tries to be.
I'm the kind of girl who has a million ideas about how to change the world. The kind of girl that worries about the kid down the hall in the hospital that is having a hard time. The kind of girl that will lecture you about being mean or making fun of someone. The kind of girl that still has faith in people, in the world, despite all the horror stories on the news. The kind of girl that people think is naive for trying to see the good in people. The kind of girl that will fight for my life and the people in it.
Mostly, I'm the kind of girl that isn't going to be defined by the things I do or diseases I have, but rather the kind of person I am.
You see, I am not perfect. I'm not even close, and that's okay.
I don't want to be perfect.
I don't want to be anybody else.
I'm starting to realize that it's perfectly fine to be myself because, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what other people think of me.
I'm not living for them and I'm not okay with being anything but myself.
I'm just me, diary.
Love Forever & Always,
Me
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