Thursday, March 1, 2012

Someday This Pain Will Be Useful

"After all this has passed, I still will remain.
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain.
Though it wont be today, someday I'll hope again.
And there'll be beauty from pain.
You will bring beauty from my pain.
My whole world is the pain inside me.
The best I can do is just get through the day.
When life before is only a memory,
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place.
And though I can't understand why this happened,
I know that I will when I look back someday.
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes.
And made me as gold purified through these flames."
--Superchick "Beauty From Pain"

Dear Diary,

Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim.
Be patient and tough, someday this pain will be useful to you.
I read this quote today in a book I was reading. I've realized how much these words mean to me. I've always thought that we are only given as much as we can handle. I've always thought that there is a reason that I'm sick. I truly believe that one day all of the things that I go through, all of the pain I endure, and all of my struggles will be worth it.
One day everything is going to make sense,
even if I don't make it, diary.
Everybody was put here for a purpose, for a reason. This includes me.
I struggle all the time, but I'm starting to realize and understand that my illnesses are not a curse. In fact, maybe they are a blessing.
Maybe one day everything that I go through will be able to help someone else, even if my fight isn't enough someday. I may never understand the workings of the world. I may never understand why people are the way they are. I may never understand what my purpose in life is. But, maybe that right there is beauty in itself.
I don't think we were ever meant to understand the world. I don't think we were ever meant to understand hardship and disaster, but I do believe that one day hardships that we go through will make sense.
Perhaps, one day I will be able to help another person who is struggling due to the fact that I was once there. I was once in there place. I once filled their shoes. I once felt that pain.
I truly believe that one day I will be thankful for all that I endured. I believe that one day I will be able to make a difference in someone's life because of it.

Everything happens for a reason.
It's time to realize that because maybe
Beauty really does come from pain.
Because with out it we might never know strength.
We might never know love.
We might never know hope.
We might never know how to live.

Love Forever & Always,
ME


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