What Doesn't Kill You

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,

Stand a little taller,

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter,

Footsteps even lighter,

Doesn't mean I'm over because you're gone.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger,

Just me, myself, and I,

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,

Stand a little taller."

--Kelly Clarkson "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)"

Dear Diary,

I've been thinking a lot lately. I've been thinking about all kinds of things. Mostly, I've been thinking about the kind of person I am. About how I got to be this person. My life is not easy. It never really has been, and It probably never will be. I've learned to accept this though. I've learned that my life may not be a walk in the park, but in a way, I'm glad it isn't. 

My diseases have been a part of me for years. They play a big part in who I am today, and that may be hard for a lot of people to understand, but I don't think I would be the person I am today if it wasn't for them.

They have shown me that despite all the things in this world that are hard, that despite everything I will have to go through, I can make it through. They have shown me that life doesn't end when you get sick, it really just begins a new chapter. It just begins a new part in your life.

A lot of people say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I believe this. The struggles I've had to deal with in life made me strong. They've given me all the will in the world to fight, but mostly they've given me a reason to live, to keep fighting until it's my time to go. They've helped me to see this world in a different light, to see the beauty and goodness that surrounds us every single day. I think a lot of people overlook that in this world. They get stuck in this place of negativity that they just can't escape and they forget to realize that the sun comes up every morning. They forget that dealing with issues in life isn't a reason to close out the world, but more a reason to open up your eyes to it. I've been told many times that I am naive, that I don't see people for who they really are, that I don't see the evil in some people, but I don't believe that. I see what's going on around me everyday. I know that people do horrible things, but that doesn't mean you should become blind to all good because if you look hard enough, you'll see it. You'll see the good, the beauty, the love that surrounds us every single day, in so many people.

One day, these diseases may take my life, and I think I'm starting to be okay with that. That's life, and maybe a lot of people think that's not fair, but one day I'm going to be needed somewhere else, maybe sooner than people wanted, but that doesn't mean I stopped fighting. It just means that I had the strength to make it through that fight, and that now it's time for me to move on. My diseases have given me the strength to know that God will take care of me, and that things will work out the way that they are supposed to,
That everything will fall into place,
and that there is always a reason for everything.
 

Love Forever & Always,

Me